Shall I apply for a job as a Croupier? Or maybe a Crane-Driver?

So you know how Rishi Sunak has been advising folk to retrain? Especially if you’re a performing artist. Or a barista. The unspoken part of his utterance was no doubt meant to be ‘retrain as something more useful to Brexit Britain.’ Which is Rishi’s version of Norman Tebbit’s ‘Get on Yerr Bike’.

So I spent an enjoyable ten minutes on the Job Centre website using their handy “Discover Your Skills” careers assessment.

Well they’ve got me down to a tee!

Here’s what they think are some of my options :

Yeah but cinemas have now mostly closed. Boxing? Nah, I’m too feart. Bookmaker? I’m tempted. But then so are too many people and gambling really isn’t a good path to tread.

Now cricketer. I like cricket. Not that the Careers Service asked me that in the assessment but something must have made them suggest it. On the other hand, it’s not a career I can really expect to take off in Scotland, so scratch that too.

Which leaves me with croupier. Again I’m tempted. But again it’s gambling-based. And one of my friends has pointed out that handing all those cards and chips isn’t very good in this covid world. She’s right. So croupier is also a non-starter. Such a pity. 007 might have come to my table…sigh.

Next set of options:

I’ve a lot of analytical type jobs so I’m leaving them aside…. Blacksmith! I could be a blacksmith. You work on your own mostly. Any virus isn’t going survive on red hot metal. And it would let me fulfil my metal-working ambitions that I couldn’t get to fulfil at school because girls didn’t get to do metal-work.

If it doesn’t work out then further down that list is Crane-driver. I’m sure I could do that. Up aloft in a high cabin delicately manoeuvring girders on to a building site…. swaying back and forwards in the wind.. OK maybe not.

I might just have to stick with being retired.

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